TIME TO FORGET ABOUT THE HEARTBREAKS.

my first post of the day.

Im posting this because my life at the moment have been rough. my diet is uncontrollable. my sleep time is messed up. sometimes i cant sleep because of my recent problems. i began to forget about my friends, my old memories, my life schedule. what i should do and what i shouldnt have to. i have two sides of me that oppposites each other. one, the confused and lonely girl who sitting by herself at the corner thinking of what her future is. and the other one, the girl that knows what she has to do but not capable of doing it because of lacking confidence and hopes.

i've tried. i have tried so many times of fixing this mess. sometimes i began to hate myself. i cant build my own life. i cant bring happiness to my loved ones. and though he started to giving up on me. i know i cant continue this habit. i have promise myself i have to change for the sake of my family, my friends and my love one. especially him. i love him. and im not going to dissapoint him neither of controlling his life for my own reason. i even not let him be friends with others. i put him into the darkness as he trying to save me and pull me out of it. im done. its time for me to find my old self. seeking my identity as a teenager. diving into the deepest fun and adventure. exploring the new world of freedom. lastly, fell from the highest height of the world to the land of love. that's define the meaning of life.

i dont want to be like someone else. but i prefer of living my life as what TAYLOR SWIFT has told herself in her song, entitled 22.



have you seen it? do you feel it?
I FEEL IT!

i want a life like her!
she's living her own dream, she dont give a damn of the trouble thats happening,
she's living wild, she's hanging out with her friends, she's having party, she knows her identity,
she laugh, she cries, she has feelings, she has a future, she knows how to blend in, she finds love and happiness, she appreciate every moments, she's not wasting her own time by doing nothing, she's motivational to all the girls in the world including ME. thanks Taylor.

to Zulfitri Hazim.
i want to keep my promise to you. i will be a decent, wild, happy, free of problems-filled. i wanna be your dream girl. 

Sincerely,
the author of this blog.
ME.